I stumbled upon this short writing piece, and it gives such a beautiful sense of what love really is.
How To Tell If Someone Loves You
Monday, July 18, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Open Up Your Chest: Let Someone Mess You Up.
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."
—Neil Gaiman (author of The Kindly Ones)
Does it mean to be vulnerable? A breaking down of walls of security, a stripping of the masks that we wear to seem normal. That seems kind of nice, doesn't it? Being genuine and real with the person you love?
That idea is terrifying. What if you strip yourself down to the beauty of your imperfect soul, to find that the person you love actually your flaws endearing, but unbearable? The possibility of rejection seems to be a common agent in hindering love; fear is like a disease, infiltrating through our outward pleasantries into the deep place where we all like to hide.
I have been thinking about this feeling of fear, and the need to be accepted by the people that we value. We pretend that we are above hurt feelings and push away feelings of pain to stay afloat in the Western society that scorns sadness. Whenever I feel hurt, I seek solitude to brood in the safe confine of my own judgment. Why would we want someone to see us at our worst?
But that is IT. IT being the meaning of love. What would love be if it was just the surface?
Love breaks barriers and crashes through the superficial. Whether this means a yelling match about forgetting an anniversary, or tears of fear that you are not worthy; the sharing of the scars and bruises between yourselves is IT.
Does this vulnerability confine itself within eros love? I hope not. Open yourself up, risk the rejection; the love that surrounds genuine actions blows away the fear. You can love your friends and family in a different way than ignoring the sadness or pain by sharing your fears with others. You just might find a deeper connection to humanity in your sharing of real feelings.
Upset with a friend? Hurt by a co-worker? Why do we have to pretend that we are impervious? Forget about brushing your feelings off your shoulder or hiding them within yourself. Open up your chest, give into the love; give someone the chance to mess you up.
—Neil Gaiman (author of The Kindly Ones)
Does it mean to be vulnerable? A breaking down of walls of security, a stripping of the masks that we wear to seem normal. That seems kind of nice, doesn't it? Being genuine and real with the person you love?
That idea is terrifying. What if you strip yourself down to the beauty of your imperfect soul, to find that the person you love actually your flaws endearing, but unbearable? The possibility of rejection seems to be a common agent in hindering love; fear is like a disease, infiltrating through our outward pleasantries into the deep place where we all like to hide.
I have been thinking about this feeling of fear, and the need to be accepted by the people that we value. We pretend that we are above hurt feelings and push away feelings of pain to stay afloat in the Western society that scorns sadness. Whenever I feel hurt, I seek solitude to brood in the safe confine of my own judgment. Why would we want someone to see us at our worst?
But that is IT. IT being the meaning of love. What would love be if it was just the surface?
Love breaks barriers and crashes through the superficial. Whether this means a yelling match about forgetting an anniversary, or tears of fear that you are not worthy; the sharing of the scars and bruises between yourselves is IT.
Does this vulnerability confine itself within eros love? I hope not. Open yourself up, risk the rejection; the love that surrounds genuine actions blows away the fear. You can love your friends and family in a different way than ignoring the sadness or pain by sharing your fears with others. You just might find a deeper connection to humanity in your sharing of real feelings.
Upset with a friend? Hurt by a co-worker? Why do we have to pretend that we are impervious? Forget about brushing your feelings off your shoulder or hiding them within yourself. Open up your chest, give into the love; give someone the chance to mess you up.
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